(feel my heat): Diminishing Returns

Cities - Talking Heads
Heart of Hearts - !!!
Don Gon Do It - The Rapture
Tribulations - LCD Soundsystem
Destroy Everything You Touch - Ladytron
Acceptable In the 80's - Calvin Harris*
Tonight I Have to Leave It - Shout Out Louds
Show Your Hand - Super Furry Animals
Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys
Two Sevens Clash - Culture*
Peace And Quiet - The Rifles
Generator - The Holloways
The Wildfire (If It Was True) - Mando Diao
Grumblin' Dub - The Upsetters*
Valerie - Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse
Golden Years - David Bowie
Can't Get Used to Losing You - The English Beat
My Ever Changing Moods (12" Version) - The Style Council
Sneakin' Sally through the Alley - Robert Palmer
Telstar (LP Version) - The Challengers*
If You Want Me to Stay - Sly & The Family Stone
I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever) - Stevie Wonder
fa-fa-fa-fa-fa (sad song) - Otis Redding
The Makings Of You - Curtis Mayfield
Baby Sitter - Betty Wright
Walk Don't Run - Ventures*
Son of a Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield
Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis
Motorcycle Emptiness - Manic Street Preachers
Men's Needs - The Cribs
City of Delusion - Muse
Anenome - The Brian Jonestown Massacre*
Under My Thumb - The Rolling Stones
Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks
Budapest (Joakim Italo Dub) - Poni Hoax*
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles

*Background music for when I mumbled about stuff

(Feel My Heat): The Return

Fist Show of the New Year:

Indian Hump - Madlib*
Greetings to the New Brunette - Billy Bragg
1952 Vincent Black Lightning - Richard Thompson
If I Should Fall Behind - Bruce Springsteen & The Sessions Band
Gladius - Oh No*
Almost Blue - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
My Funny Valentine - Chet Baker
Movie Finale - Madlib*
Broken Record - Sweatshop Union
Got Up This Morning - Sage Francis
Building Steam With a Grain of Salt - DJ Shadow
Deserter - Matthew Dear
I'll Be By Your Side - Sally Shapiro
E=MC2 - Big Audio Dynamite
Excerpt 1: Slew Test 2 / Mosquito vs. Water Buffalo / Slew Test 3A - Kid Koala*
Steppin' Out - Joe Jackson
Town Called Malice - The Jam
Multiply - Jamie Lidell
Sound and Vision - David Bowie
Sock It to 'Em Soul Brother (Instrumental) - Bill Moss*
Gente Ordinaria (Bonus Track) - Aloe Blacc
Stop Me - Mark Ronson featuring Daniel Merriweather
Is There a Ghost - Band of Horses
Sweet Avenue - Jets to Brazil
The Payback (Gotta) - Madlib*
Lazy Eye - Silversun Pickups
Another Morning Stoner - ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
Oh Messy Life - Cap'n Jazz
Keep The Car Running - The Arcade Fire
Nothing Like This - J Dilla*
Time of No Reply - Nick Drake
This Is the Way - Devendra Banhart
Rose Parade - Elliott Smith
Your Bright Baby Blues - Jackson Browne
Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen
Bye - J Dilla*
Time - Tom Waits

*Musical Interlude. Thank You Stones Throw

Ennui/Melencholia with For FAP/BP

A long relationship has just ended. If it ended like most relationships do it was not because you caught the other cheating. It ended because the two of you were changing. Because the spark that was once there does not seem to be there. Because one person is becoming colder and more distant while the other is still head over heals for the other. And while being broken up with sucks, breaking up with someone hurts as well. If you have been in a longer term relationship then clearly you care about that person. And you are the one who has to tell them that things have changed. That while you care for them you don't want them romantically any more. And you hold out hope that they will return to that special place in your heart, you are still worried that it might not. And while you may not vomit and cry in the same violent manner, you do cry and vomit and try anything to let yourself forget for a moment about how much it hurts. And the only position that feels good is the fetal position. And your friends don't understand why you are blue because they claim you are free. All you are really free from is the person that you care about and would have given the world for. Because while you are no longer in a romantic relationship you still care about them more than yourself.



In honor of all the playlists I have received from my dad here are my ten saddest songs:

Elliott Smith - Rose Parade
Trying to pick the saddest Elliott Smith song is like choosing your favorite child. You can do it but man is that an evil process. This is just the Smith song that I have been listening to the most lately.

Leonard Cohen - Famous Blue Raincoat
When you want a laugh you go to Cohen. This is a pretty morose song. About the one that got away or you let get away. A love letter to her.

Elvis Costello - Almost Blue
Elvis works for both break up playlist and broken up playist. This is the the broken up. I knew he was angry I did not know he could go sad, at least not quite like this.

Tom Waits - Time
"And its time/And its time/And its time, time, time that you loved me/And its time/time/time" If there has been a sadder lyric I haven't heard it. Description of the morose night owls.

Nick Drake - Time of No Reply
A hall of famer for the mopey sad guys. I could explain why the song is on here but why bother?

Chet Baker - My Funny Valentine
I haven't decided if that is actually one of the saddest songs or not but it is in heavy rotation right now. It sounds sad to me but it might just be my brain connecting the dots.

Pearl Jam - Black
Its a hit. You have heard it. You may have even cried to it. Certainly helped bring down your day.

Jackson Browne - Fountain of Sorrow
I grew up on Jackson Browne therefore I do not nessicarly associate him with sadness. then I listened to the lyrics. I thought about jumping out my window and then I remembered it was a second story. So instead I just lay in bed.

The Mountain Goats - Get Lonely
This is sad. This is so sad that it only makes sense after the relationship has just ended.

Band of Horses - Is There A Ghost
Not that sad compared to the others. In fact I think there is hope in the song which makes it a good end note but its still not happy. As I lay here I see a possible speck of light with this song.

And I know what you are thinking right now, "What about Bright Eyes?" Well, they just don't really do it for me right now. They are angst-y and I like them but they are not blue.

thoughts

There are somethings you can only listen to on your headphones, ...and you will know us by the trail of dead is one of those bands. Nothing else to say about it.

I am thinking of putting all my one acts together as one monsterous play/movie/idea they all sorta fit together

I really should drop geo but why bother? Not hard just boring

Shows, no Class

College sorta sucks. Its hard to say deffinitively that is totally does or totally doesn't. I have fun on the weekends when I am with my friends but when I am stuck in my room I want to transfer. I can't stand my roommate or the people I live next too. So maybe if I just transfer rooms I will be happier.

Class aren't great but that is simply because I am in gigantic classes.

I went to Against Me! Last night and had a lot of fun. Its always good to go to shows just to do something and meet new people. Something I will say in for the punk community it is pretty welcoming. I guess you can't be the community of outsiders and then shun people. I am pretty sure I am going to make my buddy go to Bad Religion and go to Social Distortion over thanksgiving.

There are not enough random comics in the world. Scratch that there are plenty but I don't have enough.

A wish list for any reading who want to send something to me: Flannel Shirts, Size 12 Chuck Taylors, 40 of Malt Liquor, Skateboard, Black Sweatshirt, Random Stuff

Punk Rock Love...A Favorite

Punk rock love is fucking behind the dumpster down the street from the show. Fucking in the shower at the Hotel Carlton. Making out in the recycle bin. Looking at her tattoos while she's asleep. Taking showers together. Playing checkers with cigarette butts. Watching her band play. Dumpstering veggies together and then going back to her place and cooking up a feast. Knowing the same parts of the same songs. Both of you having the same ex-girlfriend. Punk rock love is having to tie her shoes for her cuz she's too drunk. Kissing under the overpass. Her sending you her whole diary to read. Her giving you ten rolls of duct tape for your birthday. Her beating up skinheads. Going to the prom on her motorcycle and checking in the helmets at the coatcheck. Getting astonished stares from all the jocks who thought you were gay, now they feel dumb cuz you're with an older punk rock bombshell and they're with their friend's little sister. Punk rock love is meeting her outside the club and her saying come home with me or I'm gonna kick your fuckin ass. Going home with her and she almost kicks your ass anyway. Sharing hairdye. Riding double on a bike. Being loud and not caring. Sneaky eyes and sleeveless t-shirts. The sun coming up and you realizing that there's other people on the beach. A good sleazy one week stand. Still being friends afterwards, most of the time. Punk rock love is her sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet you in the park. Running your fingers over her spikey hair. Her chewing on a flower and you having to call poison control when her tongue swells up. Bringing her to the laundromat for a date. Sharing a sleeping bag and waking up freezing in the middle of the night and her, bleary eyed, trying to heat it up with a blowdrier. Social Unrest playing "Ever Fallen in Love?" at the gig you're both at the night after she dumps you hard. Starting smoking again after that night. Punk rock love is her drawing on you. Her sleeping on your back. Her being mad at you for being such a jerk. Her thinking it's cool that you stink and your hair stands up by itself. Her having weird roommates who worship eggs. You waiting in the doorway for hours hoping she might pass by. Even in the snow. Her singing along with Descendents records over the air on her late night radio show. Her picture on the front page of the morning paper, getting arrested. Her borrowing your favorite black hat and never giving it back. Punk rock love is finding a girl who drinks as much coffee as you do. Going into the cafe where she works and she looks up and smiles and doesn't notice as she trips over a pile of 50 dishes. They hit the floor one by one and when it's all done everyone in the cafe applauds and you both turn beet red. Punk rock love is both of you doing fanzines. Years later her teaching English to college freshmen, you still doing fanzines. Her wearing glasses through her eyes are fine, using crutches though her legs are fine, and talking with a fake speech impediment. You just thinking it's rad girl style, until later when someone brings up the concept of self-imposed handicaps. Punk rock love is getting your first kiss and almost losing your virginity at the same time, meanwhile you're trying not to wake up the other person sleeping in the same bed. Groping in the bushes by the freeway and later you realize that all the passing cars could see you. Exploring the wasteland together. holding hands out on the fire escape. Lying in the grass in her backyard. Lying on the astroturf in her bedroom. Drinking tequila on her porch, on your birthday. Riding on her motorcylce early in the cold morning and you're holding on tight and steam is rising off of the river and you're thinking how she is maybe even better than the Ramones. Punk rock love is both being broke. Love letters. Finding out she sang "Stay Free" at her high school talent show. Finding out she's a little crazier than you thought when you finally get her in bed. Her boyfriend getting mad. Walking around with her and her nephew and everyone giving you dirty looks cuz they think he's your kid. Walking around with her and being happy and proud. Being sad together. Being sad by yourself. Missing her.'